


Scary Fragile

by foreverinprinxietyhell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Accussations, Bottled up emotions, Broken Bones, Fratricide, Hallucinations, Hinted Rape, Intervention, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, PTSD, Pissed!Dean, Revenge, Scars, Seeking closure, Slight Alcoholism, Tea Drinking, Trauma, attempted suicide, brotherly reunion, chapel scene, clingy!Lucifer, consoling!Sam, depressed!Lucifer, emotional!Lucifer, food offering, graveside visitation, hot toddy, late night discussions, protective!lucifer, self blame, self doubt, self mutilation, sharing memories, slight mental breakdown, understanding!sam, verbal arguments, vulnerable!Lucifer, worried!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6518437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverinprinxietyhell/pseuds/foreverinprinxietyhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its scary to be fragile in this turning world<br/>This world, it turns me upside down<br/>On board there's a plank set aside<br/>Nailed down and ready to be walked<br/>These splinters in my hands won't go<br/>I've held on tonight<br/>What will happen tonight?<br/>I've tried before</p><p>"Scary Fragile" by Butterfly Boucher</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scary Fragile

The quiet of such late night hours proved to be a safe haven, especially for the fallen archangel whom had taken it upon himself to protect the younger hunter while he slept, the space between covered ribs and an arm draped over bent shoulders fully occupied was enough to make a non-beating heart to falter at the love felt between them as closeness was created. Watching the subtle rise and fall of the human's chest while bent digits combed through the lengthened strands of hair that tickled the hollow of an exposed throat, the celestial being could not help but marvel at the softened features that still remained underneath the emotionally exhausted exterior, the pads of his unoccupied appendages gently tracing the fading patterns of leftover scars, pausing once an unmistakably deep one had been left by none other than himself. He constantly questioned exactly what it was that the mortal was attracted to, which were usually subdued by being reassured that those acts had been forgiven, yet those acts could not be easily dismissed on a personal level; this time, Sam was not there to stop the mental rut caught in, much to his chagrin.

"You know he doesn't really love you," a familiar voice surfaced, "Its pity he feels.”

Dread drowned out every other emotion as he was frozen to the spot where he laid pinned beneath the unconscious body, as it was impossible that the entity it belonged to could be here, for he had been left behind to rot in the cage, "Michael..."

"How could anyone feel anything toward you?" he continued, "You're a monster, Lucifer."

"I've repented my sins...”

"You don't seem convinced by that. In fact, you seem to agree with me, brother."

"I don't!" he exclaimed, shaken slightly with a combination of anger and fear, yet the latter of the two won inevitably. Ever since their alone time in Hell had escalated, had given the elder one a reason to take on an even more dominating nature, he could not look at his relation without bile rising in the back of a throat still raw with the ghosts of what was forced upon him, "Leave me alone!”

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere."

"Luca?" a groggy addition called out to him in the darkened room once he had awoken, barely audible above the bullying barrage until his attention was diverted by a palm placed gently around a rigid jaw, turned in the opposite direction where he had been staring, "What's wrong?"

The devil cursed himself for waking the other due to his inability to control such rash reactions, his icy blue eyes unable to meet the hazel pair looking into them as his gaze was pointed downward, "It's nothing..."

"Are you sure? It seemed like something.”

"There's no reason to drag you through a second round of it, but if you insist, I... saw Michael. In here." he explained hurriedly, giving a short laugh as if he didn't believe it himself. It would rather be forgotten completely, yet it would do no good to keep this a secret when there were darker ones being repressed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not much to tell, he just said that you were pretending to love me," he muttered, knowing the spiel that would be given if the conversation was left there, "I know that was a lie. You actually care about me."

"Of course, and for your wellbeing," Sam confirmed, the hand placed against a slightly stubbled cheek removed in order to lace with the other's, "I think I've got a temporary solution, if you'd want to try sleeping that is."

Nodding simply, he was coaxed from the shared bed as the room was left in favor of the drafty corridor, yet it was left behind before the slight chill could be appreciated for its full worth as the kitchen was approached, the constant contact broken off once the angel had settled into the usual seat claimed at the table, watching wordlessly as the Winchester gathered a clean mug from the cupboard, followed by a kettle, a box of Chamomile tea, and a half emptied bottle of whiskey.

"Isn't that Dean's?"

"You haven't cared before whether something was his. Remember the last piece of pie from last week?"

A slight smile lifted the corners of his down-turned mouth for a moment at the memory. His defense had been that he was hungry and nothing else in the house could be eaten without a long preparation time, yet it still earned a form of wrath that might have rivaled that of his father, taking both his significant other, and the seraphim to keep the angered hunter at bay, heated words aimed at the archangel over him not even needing food in the first place, "For curiosity's sake."

"Well, he won't notice." Sam responded before directing his attention to the nearly overflowing pot, the tap turned off quickly as it was placed onto the stove. Tracking his every movement seemed to already assist in calming the immortal, and even though a guard was kept up, it proved to be an act in vain as a set of teeth found their way into a covered shoulder, the thinly layered shirt ignored while the band of his boxers were pulled at teasingly. Caught up in the defense, a yelp was let out at a gentle shaken of a rigid shoulder before it was realized that the act had been initiated by his human counterpart. 

"Here, this should help in the meantime." 

In any other situation a scoff would have been given at the offered drink, for even though the hunter seemed to enjoy it it was nothing but dried leaves and water, yet the warmed white cup was not refused as it was enveloped by both hands, taking time to absorb the heat before it scorched the vessel's flesh. Gaining a chuckle from the opposite end of the table, he searched for a safe spot to touch as four thickened limbs wrapped around the handle while a pinky was outstretched as the act was mimicked. Timidly, lips caressed the thin brim of the glass as the darkened liquid was urged forward at such a slowed pace, a mix of lemon and honey hitting unused taste buds before the rest of the beverage entered; a hard cough came out once the alcohol hit at an unexpected angle, but the physical pain gained from the intrusion was welcomed in a haunting way, "I don't even take in oxygen, but you sure know how to take my breath away."

"I didn't know I was dating such a romantic." 

"Well, if you stick around long enough you just might find out more," he mused, an incisor biting down into the sensitive skin of his bottom lip, the brewed liquid stared into while a barrier of tears built up at the lashed threshold, not daring to let such weakness be witnessed, "I wouldn't blame you for leaving though, I'm not exactly who I used to be."

"Lucifer," he flinched at the name, tensing tightly as the wooden legs scraped against the tiled floor, only allowing it to melt away once the emptied seat next to him was occupied, "You're allowed to be sad. I don't know what it was that happened, but I do know that you're strong enough to get through it, and I'm going to be here no matter what, that's for sure."

Blindly, the celestial being fell into the human's lap, a soft sob let loose as his face was hidden against the uncovered chest before released emotions wracked his body into a fit of shudders. Like a leaky faucet, the tears that poured out doused every inch surrounding the area, a small puddle forming in the ridges of a well-defined abdomen as it continued without pause until a rescue was made in the form of blond follicles stroked in a soothing pattern while a nameless tune hummed in a hush, yet the simplicity of such gestures was all it took in the moment. Emotionally exhausted, the immortal laid there as a warmth washed in a wave not fought against even when the persistent pattern of petting had ceased, "Sam? C-Can I confess something to you?"

"Of course." 

It took a few moments as courage was searched for, and found once more in the darkened depths of the small amount of sanity that still stayed, "I think I'm losing a hold on reality, and it scares me."

"Well, now you know how I felt," the hunter quipped, continuing on quickly before it had the chance to be misinterpreted, "At least you have someone who's been through a similar experience."

"Not in the same way, but at least it's a start," he stated absentmindedly, not understanding why the other suddenly stiffened underneath for a long while until he spoke up. 

"Lu, what do you mean? Did Michael hurt you?"

"In a few ways," he admitted sullenly, cringing at the thought, "I don't want to go into details right now."

"I can respect that, and I'm here whenever you decide to, if that day comes."

"Someday." the immortal promised, for his lover deserved an answer no matter how gruesome the details were; the menacing hunger in those seemingly bright eyes as he was approached, rough hands groping a resisting body prior to being pounced on, the physical pain always hurting less than the breaking of a heart that had once loved him all over again. He shuddered at the thought, swiping harshly at the length of arm left uncovered by the short-sleeved shirt, feeling dirty just thinking about it. 

"Nothing's there except me, muffin."

That pet name, had it been uttered by anyone else would be left without a tongue, brought him back on top of the settling pool of drunkenness long enough to receive a peck to the lips, not shying away from it only due to the fact that guilt was felt strongly for becoming more distant, a slight whimper produced once it was paused, "Babe..."  
"We can continue tomorrow, but we need to get back to bed. You know how Dean gets wen one of us misses breakfast."

"True." he mused, having been subjected to the overprotective personality that extended in an affectionate way towards the one made into his significant other, a begrudging air directed at him, yet the archangel was put up with so as not to upset the only other human in the household. Just like that, he was helped to his feet, the journey returning them to the close quarters not taking quite as long. Curled up in a tight ball, the slightly pock-marked face was concealed underneath the numerous layers of blankets, only feeling truly comfortable once the younger Winchester joined. The memories conjured still flooded on the outskirts of his mind, ready to repeat endlessly when the moment struck, yet nothing could penetrate the shield put up for the remainder of the long night.

* * *

Waking up with a start from a faraway shout, a sense of panic filled the archangel immediately without thinking about it, nearly drowning from the effort of fighting against the current, yet it did not last long when that familiar voice could be heard just outside the cracked door. Focusing on it, a seemingly innocent conversation was carried on in hushed tones until his name was spoken.

"Lucifer isn't feeling well, let him rest."

"That's easy for you to say, you aren't the one who broke into my liquor stash and couldn't be bothered to clean up the evidence." 

For a moment, the fallen angel was at a loss, as the happenings from the previous night were a blur for the most part except for the promises given by the younger hunter stationed outside defending his honor, yet the pieces finally fell into place when it was remembered the bottle of amber liquid mixed into the brewed beverage used as a remedy for his delusional state, "What makes you so sure it wasn't someone else?"

"He already has one crime on his record, why should this be any different?"

"Fair enough, but you shouldn't unfairly accuse anyone. It _was_ me, Dean. He's going through some things right now, and I figured it would help him for a while." 

"Great, like we need another headcase," the elder grumbled, changing the subject quickly, "Breakfast is almost ready, at least wake him up for that."

A feeling of foreboding overshadowed the small shred of pride felt for his significant other from witnessing the encounter, so much that he had not realized he had been joined once more, trying his best to mask being caught off guard once attention was directed to the additional presence, "Good morning, Sam." 

"How was your first experience with sleep?"

"It was nice, I didn't have any nightmares." In fact, nothing had been witnessed in the few hours of unconsciousness, which was welcomed as a form of death without the commitment, yet this tidbit was not voiced aloud; Sam had enough to deal with, and he wasn't quite sure how it would be taken that he was thinking those thoughts. The small smile on the mortal's lips from such a simple statement deserved to stay there for as long as possible, the unused organ in the middle of his chest fluttering fully at seeing it grow when a low growl of hunger came unexpectedly, a human function that he actually enjoyed partaking in.

Securing the belt of the borrowed robe, Lucifer followed his human counterpart in a Deja vu act, yet the differences were enough to reassure him that nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. Sighing in relief, an empty seat was taken next to his brother, greeting him with a curt nod in an attempt to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary, a glance stolen in the direction of the oven as a familiar scent wafted through the atmosphere, interests peaking as the sight a few muffin tins confirmed suspicions of what was expected.

"Don't you think making Lucifer his own batch is a little eccentric?' Castiel questioned as the baked goods were placed onto two separate plates.

"You've seen how he gets over these things."

It was no secret of how his pet name had been earned; it had been during his first morning meal where an array of different foods had been prepared, yet the confection was the only one offered by his lover that gained any interest in being consumed. The first bite taken into the fluffy top filled with a pinkish fruit had finalized a love for it, so much that the rest had been devoured without anyone else getting one. For once the archangel did not blame the older human, thanking him quietly when the platter was positioned in front. 

Picking up the first of a few assorted flavors, the wrapper was peeled back enthusiastically as a hearty bite was taken, lips wrapped around the doughy substance before a chuckle emitted at his unprotected side at the end of the table. 

"I haven't seen such a pretty sight in a long time," Michael remarked, getting closer still until he leaned into the other's side, the rest breathed into his ear as the dirty secret it was,  
"I bet you'd look better with my cock in your mouth instead."

Gulping dryly, a piece of the treat was choked on for a moment, his head shaken from side to side in denial of both the imagined spectacle and the offered glass of milk from across the piece of furniture gathered around, knowing it would only provoke the attacker further.

"Rejecting it because you want the real thing, eh?"

"Stop it..." he whispered, the blueberry muffin dropping from his cupped palm as the tablecloth was stared at, "I beg you..."

"I always like it when you did." the eldest archangel quipped, yet it did not inflict as much damage once the younger male stooped to retrieve the fallen food, a hand placed firmly on a hunched shoulder.

"You saw him again, huh?"

"No shit, Sam. He wouldn't have a fit over nothing," Dean commented, the neck of a glass bottle tipped into a cup of orange juice, stirred a little prior to it being handed to the unstable one, "Drink it, it'll help."

It did not settle well with the immortal, for it was not a habit he wanted to rely upon, but it was not rejected once the other human encouraged the beverage to be consumed. A slight sip was allowed before it was set back onto the counter. Not a word was spoken as a piece of the baked good was broken off and offered to tentative lips, afraid it would become another chain reaction although it was taken, chewed and swallowed as slowly as possible, the newly made routine carried on until only the paper dressing remained, the process continued with the next, crumpled trash balls left as the only remaining evidence of their existence.

"Starting to feel better?"

"A little at a time," the Devil admitted, "Thank you for being so patient."

"Not a problem, it's what we do for family." the older Winchester replied, taking him by surprise due to how badly they got under each other's skin in the beginning stages of his arrived at the bunker. 

The awkward addition aided in having the earlier reaction almost entirely calmed, for he felt like a burden knowing that Sam had been the only one relied upon, able to see how badly it drained the young male despite how well it was hidden. Even though he was slowly losing control of what was still salvageable from the encounters, it was worth noting that he actually had everyone else's support in such a serious matter.

A few protests had originally been made when it was revealed that his significant other would be leaving him alone, technically under the supervision of the other angel, to join on a case that had come up, yet he realized how much it would benefit the mortal to be away for a few days, which hurt more than the words upon hearing all of the details.

"We shouldn't be gone long, but don't hesitate to contact one of us if something starts to happen, alright?"

"I'll be fine until you get back." In truth, he did not believe the lie told, for things had been steadily growing worse even though he had become better at dealing with them before a physical reaction took place, a system developed where an article clothing fresh with the other's scent would be drawn closely to his torso until the one it belonged to found him, sitting next to him until the moment passed.

"Well, just in case," Sam stated, seemingly skeptical although no protest came when his name was called out from above, "I guess that's my cue to leave."

"I wish you didn't have to go."

"Luca, we've been over this," the hunter gently reminded, lips connected together briefly, "I know you're afraid to be alone, whether you're willing to admit it or not, but this will be good for us.”

He had a point that could not be argued, so with a final peck on the cheek given, the archangel had stepped back to watch the other depart, not daring to move even after the heavy metal hatch was securely shut. The silence was enough to unnerve the sensitive soul, yet he was determined to make the most out of having the place to himself, which was a confusing concept to process while a distraction was sought, the half-closed laptop sat on the coffee table approached and brought to the couch once it was established that it was Sam's, for it was known how infamously the older brother's own computer was at being paused on a sexual video. Curling closely in the corner of an arm of the couch, the laptop lid was lifted as another tab was opened so as not to disturb what had been worked on so laboriously, not knowing what to look for exactly since the younger male had always pulled up what they were going to watch together, yet it did not take long for him to understand the process as a different program was found.

His attention was not fully on the chosen show, yet it could not be helped thinking that it would have been better suited for someone else entirely, the youngest archangel coming to mind with a small, sad smile, a piece of heart never quite fully healed from the last encounter they had crumbling even further, semi-concentrated mind wandering to when the two had stood against, instead of beside, each other in that motel, the details vivid albeit the torture forced through since then; the fledgling whom had idolized him had grown to be an admirable angel, he had to admit, the obvious fear felt facing him cast aside as he tried to protect the Winchesters as an angel blade was clutched ever so tightly as the last thing standing in their way, but in the end it just was not enough. Lucifer shuddered while the memory flooded every other sense, regret in his voice as the other's attempt at fighting was acknowledged one last time, a hand grasped firmly in the chestnut hair as he watched the light start to fade even before the silver sliver slid from the wound it created in the predecessor's chest. If there had been one thing regretted more than forcing the hunter paired with through hell, it was killing the only brother that might have forgiven unconditionally. 

"Remembering your best memories, eh?" came that familiar voice that ashamedly still sent him into a timid tremor.

"They're the worst," he muttered, eyes clenched tighter as the falling footsteps got closer, "Please, Michael, show some mercy."

"To someone who committed fratricide? I don't think so. Actually, I think that deserves a form of punishment," the elder trailed off, unsatiated lust clear in the carefully calculated voice, settling against the rigid flank as an unwanted hand slid down his front. For what seemed like the first in a long time, retaliation was met at the attacker's attempts, his own calloused hands shoving the unrecognizable sibling off, a soft growl produced low in his throat, "Oh, playing hard to get?"

"No, I'm not!" 

"Come on, now. You've disappointed father, and our little brother both, why do the same to me?"

"There has to be a way to get rid of you." he mused, trying hard not to react to the assigned blame. 

"Oh, there is, but I doubt you'd be brave enough to return with me."

There was another that remained unspoken, for it was too drastic to rationalize. Opening the ice blue bulbs of sight, he silently left the safety of the sofa as the shared bedroom was entered for what might have been the last time, a fist wrapping around the hilt of his own blade where it laid under the flattened pillow of the human whom it had been entrusted in case something were to happen. There had been a few instances where it had been slid out from the cotton confines to rest against his pulse, each time being reconsidered easily once he looked down at the sleeping figure tucked firmly against his side. Sitting in the floor, the edge of the cooled metal was traced in an admirable way, the shortened sword facing the intended target once it was raised, the collar of the shirt worn shoved aside as the diamond tip rested against the middle of his torso, cutting the flesh in a vertical, the high pitched chime of grace announcing exposure. Without missing a beat, it was shoved forward once his aim had been straightened out, confusion replacing the state of desperation once the hand was emptied of what it held before the act was committed, a set of darker blue eyes noticed once awareness returned.

"Lucifer, what are you doing?" 

"What does it look like?" he spat, a dull anger rising and fading too fast to be processed completely, "I'm trying to get rid of him."

"All the same, suicide is not the answer." Castiel reasoned, the archangel blade pocketed into the infamous trench coat worn. 

"Let me guess, you've got to tell Sam now, right?" 

"I think you know the answer to that, but it can wait until after I heal you, if you want it."

"Not completely," There needed to be evidence at least until it was evaluated by his lover when he returned, stomach numbing at the thought of the awaited reaction while the seraphim went to work on removing the bloodstained article of clothing, a skilled hand helping the healing process along, the appendage moving away quickly once the handiwork had finished, excusing himself momentarily as the call was made. Luckily, the brief conversation was unable to be heard, although it hurt nonetheless to realize how much worse it would hurt the one so dedicated to, "How'd he take it?" 

"He's obviously worried, panicked even, so he convinced Dean to drive back a day early."

Each second was strung out in agony as the hunter's arrival was awaited, unable to think of anything except the disappointment that would evidently be present while the younger angel tried to help calm the situation, never leaving his side until he ascended the flight of stairs to greet the others when the entrance to the underground dwelling was forced open so suddenly, the loud reverberation masking the sound of feet hurrying down into the living room. The celestial being did not have to look up to know it was his partner, yet his gaze remained fixated on the clasped hands settled in his lap, only able to get a glimpse of the human through peripheral vision once he kneeled down in front, sickened once it was realized that he had been crying. 

"I-I'm so sorry, Sam..." his voice wavered, inwardly cringing at how small it sounded, "I just want it to be over."

"Do you want help?"

"...Yes." he breathed out barely above a whisper, aware of the hands that firmly enveloped his own.

"You know that can't happen until you tell someone what happened, right?" the human questioned, a cautious pause taken before venturing forward, "Are you willing to do that?" 

"I've wanted to for a while now, but I was just... scared over how you would react." 

"You don't have to be, hon. I'm here," the hunter insisted, the hesitation noticed immediately as the archangel's focus was directed toward the top landing, "They left to give us some time alone."

"I suppose it's about time I told someone. You of all people deserve the truth, though it isn't pretty," Lucifer started, a sigh loudly let out as words were carefully chosen, trying not to gag, "It began when your soul returned. I knew the Cage had taken its toll on Michael, but I had _no_ idea what exactly that would entail until he started to use me as a sexual release in any way possible, mainly forcing me to suck him off before he'd... mount me. At first, I fought back, but it was an act in vain against him, so after a while I accepted it as punishment for what I've become."

Tension was thick throughout the room as the explanation drew to a close, although that did not deter the mortal for long once all the details were fully processed, "Lu, we've all done things that we regret, and that does not excuse the fact that he took advantage of you, but that doesn't mean you earned such treatment. You've changed for the better, and it shows."

"Only because I have you."

"What did he do that made you self-harm?"

The newly developed scar had been forgotten during the discussion, wincing physically once it was brought up, yet it was foolish to think that it would be swept under the rug especially since it had been absentmindedly touched at a few intervals, as if checking to see that it had not been a delusion as well, "I was having guilt about killing Gabe, and he picked up on that, and used it against me."

"It might make matters worse, but if you want to go visit him, he was buried after we found out about his death."

"After the mayhem he caused?"

"Well, he and I used to be close, so it seemed the right thing to do," Sam justified regardless of the skeptical look given, for it had never been spoken of at length that the two had a fling, "Anyway, it was just a suggestion."

"I want to do it," the Devil declared instantly, a mixed reaction of embarrassment for the outburst and fear that the opportunity would be taken away, "C-Can we go today?"

"You've been through quite a lot today already. Are you sure?"

Careful consideration was taken as the decision was in the process of being made, yet the need to be beside him one more time was too strong to ignore despite how drained the earlier confrontation had made him, "It needs to be done now." 

"Let's get ready then, shall we?"

The fallen angel took longer to dress than his human counterpart only due to the fact that this sort of activity had never been practiced, help being provided once the struggle was witnessed, as his vessel only had the outfit that had been worn when he had taken over. Rejecting the different flannels suggested, a garment in the back of the closet was noticed, the slightly dusty hanger taken down from the rack as the knitted fibers were fingered timidly, not daring to remove it any further until an approving smile nudged the process on, growing in size as the cable fabric fell against the taut torso comfortably. Changing out of the borrowed sweats worn religiously since arriving at the homestead for a pair of faded jeans, he finally felt ready to leave it behind in order to return to where he belonged beside his younger sibling, the sunlight momentarily blinding the male whom had not been above ground in what felt like an eternity, yet it did not stop the short trek to the only other vehicle parked in the abandoned forest clustered around the hidden home. 

Seated upon the faux leather, attention was diverted to the passing scenery in order to maintain the nervous energy that was building in the pit of a knotted stomach; he recognized that it would never be a face to face meeting again, yet worry still infiltrated every opened crevice at saying the right words before bidding a final farewell. Luckily, the journey to the cemetery was lengthy enough for roaming thoughts to be collected in a precise order although it stopped once the vehicle stopped on a flattened bed of yellowed grass, the memory of his last visit to the resting place threatening to resurface, only able to be kept at bay due to the more important matter of paying respects that had not been there previously. 

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." 

Although the lungs tucked away in their ivory encasing no longer worked, a burning sensation radiated throughout as each footstep proved harder to take than the last up the steep hill tucked away into a corner of the gated property, stopping only once the top was successfully reached, but briefly as a makeshift marker was noticed standing stationary in the shade of a lone tree, causing weakened knees to buckle as soon as the perimeter was approached, the offered package of food brought along dropped unceremoniously. 

"Hey, little brother, I know it's been a while, but I just wanted to come see you. To tell you that I miss you..." he began, the prepared speech lost, only a merely fleeting thought as hands unconsciously tore at the earthen blades beneath him. Voice breaking, he stopped momentarily while watching the other male whom had placed the packaged sweets on the crudely blank slab, unable to continue until it came out without warning, "I should have been the one to die."

"I know you blame yourself, but there's no need for that kind of talk. Why don't you tell me some good memories you still have of him?

Doing as suggested, a plentiful amount of recollections were sorted through prior to a specific one selected from long ago, predating the collection of seraphim and cherubim created, "Did he tell you much about his childhood when you were together?"

"No, but I remember there being mention of how the platypus was made." 

"Of course, he was always proud of that achievement," Lucifer recounted fondly, "He never agreed with the role he was given, so he begged relentlessly about creating something until Dad caved. His mistake was letting me oversee Gabe's progress since I ended up liking the creature, and thus it was born."

"Way to be the encouraging big brother." 

"I couldn't help it, we were inseparable. He learned all his tricks from me after all."

"It sounds like he had his hands full with the both of you."

"No wonder he left," the archangel grumbled, shrugging dishearteningly, "At least I've got you, right?"

"Absolutely."

The corners of his usually worn frown lifted at the single word emphasizing the bond still held between them despite such unsettling circumstances, daring to press his lips against the rigid jawbone in a slightly cautious manner, lingering only once it was leaned into as acceptance of the offered long-absent affection, "I'm in your debt, love. Who else would have the patience to stand beside their partner during a mental breakdown?"

"Well, if you're looking for recompense, there is something that can be done," the human suggested, "Endure, just like you have been doing."

"Done." 

"If I had known dying would bring you two closer, it would've happened sooner." an added voice spoke, chilling the immortal to the core as he looked to his human counterpart for confirmation that the sight in front of them was perceived; perched on the stone pedestal with one of the candy bars one of the candy bars nonchalantly between his teeth was the youngest archangel, a serious tone replacing the playful demeanor, "You seem worse for wear, Lucy. Did something happen?"  
Unable to answer, the elder of the two slowly stood on shaky limbs, blindly stumbling into the slightly shorter body as arms immediately wrapped around, face buried into the chestnut hair once he was pressed into the embrace, every ounce of leftover strength put into getting exact emotions across to the one person thought to have another encounter with again.

"Easy there, tiger." the Trickster cautioned, though the attention was not denied especially as an affectionate headbutt was received.

"You son of a bitch," he muttered halfheartedly, "I thought I lost you." 

"That was the point." 

"It's good to see you again, Gabe." the hunter greeted once he joined in on the reunion, obviously not as phased by the happenstance; his facial expression changing from sorrow still felt to one of shock as a set of lips crashed against his own once the additional presence slipped from the older brother's grasp, pulling away instantly, "Uh, Gabe, I hate to break it to you, but I moved on." 

"Figured so. Just couldn't resist for old time's sake."

"Typical."

"Not to be rude, but why are you back after so many years of being gone?"

"I'd rather explain somewhere more private, it's quite a complicated conversation."

It did not seem settling, but no matter what it was, he could never dismiss a request from the only relative he still held any positive emotion toward. Agreeing to it, a tentative hand held onto one of his while traveling down the steep hillside was made to the borrowed mode of transportation, the back seat occupied by both celestial beings finally brought back together. A few times during the trip, the hunter witnessed whispers and soft chuckles, questioning what was going on over his shoulder that only produced louder laughs. Truth be told, it felt cathartic to be able to enjoy such simple things even though the exiled angel knew it would inevitably disappear, which was nervously anticipated since it had not been If brought up, not wanting to spoil something that might not return in a longer span of time.

Returning to the bunker, there was a commotion of mixed emotions from the older hunter and his significant other as the news was processed, a mixture of anger and relief filling the atmosphere, an argument about having to house another individual only diverted due to the fact that the Morningstar still seemed stable enough to get through the evening without any disturbances.

"So, now that we're in the most protected place in the world, care to let us in on why you suddenly came back?" Sam questioned, hating to be the bearer of bad news although curiosity could no longer be kept at bay. 

"I've been listening in on the angel radio, and the news isn't great, but Michael is trying to leave the Cage," the Trickster replied, continuing on without noticing the three pairs of eyes that fell on Lucifer, "Apparently, he's been attempting to get into contact with pop, and there have been rumors buzzing that he will be raised back to Earth, if he’s successful. 

There’s only one person who can defeat him, which is why I came back.”

“Lucifer barely beat him the last time, how do you expect him to be able to do it now?” the older Winchester scoffed, clearly skeptical. 

“Dean…” 

“What? He can barely get through a day without dealing with a delusion, so what’ll happen when it’s the real thing?”

“He’s right,” the immortal in question relented, not meeting any gaze until daring to meet the doubter, “We’ll just have to wait and see won’t we? I can’t live the rest of my life in fear of him, I’ve got to get past this, and it’s the only opportunity that I’ve got.” 

A flicker of pride was felt as his significant other praised him for the unprepared retort, beaming slightly as affection was personally allowed to be enjoyed prior to it becoming short-lived once it was remembered not everyone knew every detail.

“Does someone care to enlighten me about what’s going on?” Gabe asked, facial features contorted between a smirk appreciating his older brother’s comment, and confusion as to why it was necessary in the first place. 

“Let’s just say prison life hasn’t really agreed with Michael, and I got to experience it firsthand.” 

“Son of a bitch… I’m so sorry, big brother.” 

“Don’t worry, hon, it’ll be over soon enough.”

Truth be told, the Devil was terrified of the awaited confrontation while it was overthought of especially during the late night hours as the ceiling was stared at although it had to be admitted that remaining timid was wearing thin, noticed when it could be seen how negatively it strained the romantic relationship, bags building up under the hunter’s hazel eyes from staying stationed beside the immortal when resting was refused. It was an admirable feat, he had to admit, which added to the building bravado kept stored for the next day, the taste of revenge aiding in the flotsam and jetsam of the unused adrenaline strong despite the intervals when it faded and resurged; it did not help that he twitched with anticipation even in the late hours of the night, awaking his partner on more than one occasion until finally coaxed into the realm of dreams.

* * *

Packed into the backseat with a groggy Gabriel perched on a hunched shoulder, the lightening sky was stared at from the window pinned next to, past memories resurfacing from the beginning when it had only been the four of them and their father, a chuckle let out at the trouble his naivety caused to be here a couple of millennium later tethered to a member of the race loathed so fiercely, for the descent into madness would not have had a chance to be battled against if it were not for such a created bond about to be defended against the arisen abuser. 

“This is the place.” Gabe piped up an hour later, finally waking up from the nap, yet his saliva covered cheek stayed plastered to the other’s shoulder, half-lidded eyes threatening to close again.

“Come on, baby bro, let me up.” the elder murmured, a kiss pressed into upon the threshold between scalp and follicles as he was gingerly set against the cushioned faux leather. The dull thud of twin doors were the only audible thing he was aware of as the entrance to the chapel was approached, vaguely remembering when he had risen from hell the first time and had arrived here as the threshold was stepped over, guiding the hunter through the fading light of the eldest archangel, the three pairs of pure white wings singed at the tips first to be recognized once the altar was reached.

“M-Michael…”

“What a surprise, I thought you’d never come,” he acknowledged before turning around, dark brown eyes working their way up the figure that stood still, a forward step taken as lips were licked in a famished way, “If I had known you liked an audience, I would have pleaded with father to stay and watch the rest of your punishment get carried out. I suppose one witness will suffice.” 

Cringing at the taunt, a small flicker of anger was rekindled at the prospect of making Sam a victim as well, the stolen blade brandished once he was reached for, “Not this time.”

“One murder on your record isn’t enough?” 

“You’ll be happy to know that he’s alive, but this time it won’t just be an attempt, it will be your downfall.”

“Big talk, coming from someone who refused to fight me in the Cage. We both know you would never hurt your first love.” 

“It’s true that I loved you, and I would have willingly given myself to you, but you ended up being a bigger monster than I ever was,” Lucifer stated, not reacting to the outstretched palm that found its way to caress a scruff covered cheek, the dagger puncturing the underside of his arm, not noticing the spray of blood staining the front of his shirt, “There comes a point in life when you have to cut toxic people out.” 

“If that’s how you want to play, fine.” 

Barreled into, the blond yelped in pain as a sizzling heat met with exposed skin as thumbs pressed into his windpipe, yet not a beat was missed as a harsh head-butt caused a crunch to echo in his ears once the bridge of a broken nose collapsed; it was a laborious task fending off the sibling who had ruined an already tarnished life, yet it did not seem as difficult with the words of encouragement from the mortal whom had given up on attempting to intervene. Barely able to hold on any longer due to fatigued muscles, vulnerability was shown as he was pinned underneath, the angel blade clanging loudly on the tiled floor when it fell from his grasp.

“You put up a decent fight, I’ll give you that, but it’s over,” the elder angel purred out, tongue tracing a stripe from visible scar tissue to the side of the neck that had previously been strangled, “Any last words before I ravish you?” 

“Word to the wise, don’t let your guard down.” a note of chastisement came from behind as a smaller version of the lengthened sword was grasped between the hunter’s hands, driven into the antagonist’s curved back to serve as a diversion.

“Stay out of this, human.” 

“You’re going to have to make me.”

Unable to move for a moment while the other archangel shoved his partner to the ground, Lucifer dived for the discarded weapon left behind while pounding punches littered the otherwise quiet atmosphere, allowing the rest of his unused power to come out fully as his own knuckles connected with a clenched jaw, the barrage of hits not stopping until the immobilized organ was pierced by the elongated sword. 

“You’ve stolen a lot from me over the years, but I’m not letting you take Sammy…”

“Have it your way,” Michael taunted, blackened blood spilling from his lips as it was coughed into the younger sibling’s face, “He’s going to leave you sooner or later.”

“Goodbye, Micah.” the other replied, knowing that it did not have to be justified that his partner would not leave him especially after all that had happened since the dying angel began haunting him, a sense of satisfaction washing over him as a scream radiated once the hilt of the blade was pulled from the gaping hole in the middle of his chest. Immediately, he abandoned the broken body in favor of tending to the male’s pain, coaxing gently through the ragged breaths taken in order to slide the long-sleeved layer off of the hurting appendage to tie it securely around the dislocated shoulder, promising to heal it fully once strength had returned. Fighting fatigue that threatened to wash over, the celestial being brought them both onto shaken legs as the church was exited one step at a time.

“What’s the verdict?” Gabriel greeted, assessing the two with a stoic look from the stolen position in front of the vehicle. 

“Lucifer ganked that son of a bitch.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you, love.” he quipped, a gentle kiss pressed into a gashed temple before allowing the exhausted human to collapse into his side despite a few broken ribs screaming in agony from the applied pressure. 

Heart heavy with the realization that he had managed to actually commit murder against a relative, a weight had ironically been lifted from burdened shoulders in the most content way possible. Although both had been dealt a range of hurt, it was ignored as the realization hit that closure had been reached where it had not been when both had visited the youngest archangel’s grave, that spark alone being all that was needed while limping down the set of stairs into the bunker, not even dissipating when the couple awaiting them showed alarming concern.

“Shower first, story later.” the older Winchester implemented, nose slightly wrinkled in disgust at the sticky stain covering the blonde’s facial features, forcing himself to part with his brother once the suggestion was made.

Warmth had never felt so comforting while it poured down in a steady stream, everything else forgotten about as he made it a priority to tend to the mortal previously healed from everything except the damaged clavicle, careful not to further the pain along as fresh clothes were changed into. Returning to the living room, no details were spared from the close encounter as questions came from the family members, only one catching the archangel off guard.

“Are you going to be okay, Luca?” 

It took longer than it should have to respond, but an agreement arrived eventually after evaluating the scenario at hand; despite narrowly escaping, he had a home with a host of humans and angels that cared about him regardless of the mistakes made long ago, and even though it would still take a long time to recover, he had no doubt that the feat was going to be easier. Acceptance had been something searched for ever since he had been cast out by the murdered molester, and now that the happenings of the past had been confronted fully, settling down with the mortal did not seem an impossible task as the healing process took its rightful place.


End file.
